LEE DARROW - Magician, Hypnotist, Entertainer

Yep.

I have knuckled under to the pressure and am going to teach the full four-hour course in Chicago on June 14th!

Because of some issues in the insurance field, and because of some other people who are trying to co-opt the entire safety initiative away from all of us for their own profits, I've decided to put the full course - the one I couldn't teach all of at the NGH 2006 convention because of schedule conflicts - on for any practicing stage hypnotists OR anyone who does lecture/demonstrations OF hypnosis.

Where: Crown Plaza Hotel - Rosemont, IL on River Road (near O'Hare Airport, with free shuttle service)

When: June 14th, 2008

Cost: $175

Early Bird Registrants get a $25 discount if they register by May 25th.

We accept PayPal, too!

Drop me an email for details.

The class will include a FREE copy of my book on stage Safety, Certificate of Completion, hands-on demonstrations, Q & A sessions on all portions of the course and much much more!

Register soon - seating is LIMITED!

Lee Darrow, C.H.


Author of the FIRST book on Stage Hypnosis Safety
Accept No Substitutes!

"VAUDEVILLE AFFAIR! May 4th!! Portage Park Theater!!!" 4050 N Milwaukee Ave, Chicago. Starting 6PM, I'll be doing strolling magic, mentalism and maybe even hypnotism!

At 7:30, Silent Theater will take the stage with their unique brand of theatrical production - including magic, performance art and all sorts of amazing things!

Tickets are $30 for adults, $15 for students

SPECIAL DISCOUNT FOR READERS OF MY BLOG! - Just say "Hypnotize Me" at the door for a special discount rate on your tickets - which could be up to ten dollars off the adult price!

Remember, you MUST say HYPNOTIZE ME to get this special discount rate!

For more information, contact Silent Theater, directly through their web page at:

www.silenttheatre.com/Vaudeville_Affair.html

They're calling it Mind Freaks Meets Phenomenon on their web page. Me, well, since I actually have college course hours in parapsychological research methodology from Northeastern Illinois University, am a certified hypnotherapist and professional magician and mentalist, I'll let you draw your OWN conclusions!

Tune in LIVE for this interactive call-in show!

That's right - you can actually talk TO me and the hostesses of this show that brings common sense BACK to ghost hunting!

10 PM Central Time www.para-X.com just click the Ghost Divas link!

I'm looking forward to talking to YOU!

Lee Darrow, C.H.

Darrow's First Law states: Common Sense Ain't! If It WAS, There Would Be a LOT MORE OF IT AROUND!

Proof One: Blog Against Torture Day. Back during rationing, during WWII, there was an ad campaign that applies PERFECTLY to this initiative - Is this trip REALLY Necessary?

Common Sense would dictate that torture doesn't work, is morally wrong and does nothing but give our enemies ANOTHER propaganda point to use AGAINST us to ramp up support to DESTROY the United States.

But Common Sense Ain't Common. This proves it.

Don't get OUT and protest. Don't go to the POLLS and Vote the people who condone, or who fail to even voice their indignation over such acts out of office. Don't raise your voices in the legitimate press and be heard. Don't write your Congresscritters and let THEM know how YOU feel.

No. The Powers That Be want us all to BLOG. Rant, impotently, on-line, where everyone can say "See, I BLOGGED about it - I am doing something."

INACTIVISM at its best.

Pushing pixels is not going to push people out of office, is not going to move votes in Congress and is NOT going to make for good coverage on TV or any other news media because it CAN'T BE SEEN!

Demonstrations can be seen. Tons of mail can be seen. A screen full of blog-droppings is just another commercial on TV to be ignored by the other Powers That Be that sit on the seats of power in the seats of government, not something tangible like thousands of people demonstrating outside of the White House, millions of letters pouring in to the House UnAmerican Activities Committee protesting their actions, or campuses closed down by students taking to the streets to march in protest of a President out of control.

In a blogging world, Nixon may well have survived Watergate.


Proof Two: Earth HOUR. As I noted in my last blog - this devaluation of Earth DAY is just another example of what I am starting to call INactivism. Inactivism is what happens when an activist movement starts to succumb to a lack of public interest, its own poor publicity efforts and the flagging attention-spans of what passes for adults in today's world.

Earth DAY, in point of fact, SHOULD have EVOLVED into EARTH WEEK and, eventually, into EARTH LIVING, which was the eventul goal - to bring everyone into an awareness of and to live a lift that does nt have a harmful impact on the environment.

But NOOOOOO! The Powers that Be, in their infinite Marketing Wisdom (read: Inactivistic Stupidity), decided to trim a full 23 HOURS from Earth DAY and turn it into a non-event that is shorter than the average comedy-club's headline act!

Next, it will be Earth MINUTE, then Earth SECOND and then ... nothing.

Much like blogging about torture and the changes THAT will bring... nothing.

Reminisces and Nostalgia
Current mood: nostalgic
Category: Life

I am a certified Old Guy... or will be on April 2... when I turn 56... and a recent exchange with someone reminded me of some of the things I’ve witnessed, especially during my childhood... I’ve thrown some of them out on the page, below.

Some of it was, and is, kind of scary.

I was born before the first Sputnik was launched... back before Paul Daniels was on the Telly in the UK or Mark Wilson was on TV over here... and just before the first H-bomb was dropped in the Marshall Islands... I was here before Jonas Salk discovered the vaccine for Polio. DNA was discovered after I got here, too. I was here to witness the first heart transplant, kidney dialysis and the artificial heart come into being.

I remember "Duck and Cover" drills in school ("Hit the dirt, kids, we’re all gonna DIE!"), only four channels on TV (ABC, NBC, CBS and WGN because nobody watched WTTW, which was public broadcasting, the forerunner of PBS)... I remember Tom Corbett, Space Cadet, Rocky Jones, Space Ranger, Paladin, Yancey Derringer and the Bounty Hunter when he rode a horse and was played by a young Nick Adams... I remember Clint Eastwood as Rowdy Yates on Rawhide and Ronald Reagan hosting Tales of the West sponsored by 20-Mule Team Borax Soap... I remember when Marilyn Chambers was the Ivory Soap child... before she grew up and did the adult movie classic "Behind the Green Door."

I remember "Fizzies," and Peanut Brittle when it came in a can. I remember candy cigarettes and cars without seatbelts. I remember candy "dots" on strips of paper and "Mars Attacks" bubble gum cards. I remember when Teflon first hit the market, and the microwave oven. I remember Jiffy Pop popcorn and being frustrated because it ALWAYS burned in the pan...

I remember when going to the moon was the equivalent of the impossible.

I remember watching Neil Armstrong land and walk on the moon and watching Alan Shephard play the first round of golf there.

I watched the Berlin Wall go up and watched it come down.

I sweated in my seat in class, in grade school, waiting for the bombs to fall during the Cuban Missile Crisis while the Principle gave us updates over the Intercom system now and then... No child should have to live with something like THAT hanging over his or her head...

I didn’t believe it when my classmates told me that President Kennedy had been shot.

I believed it when President Nixon resigned, though...

I saw the Dave Clark Five, live, at a local theater near my home and was almost killed by the traffic that rushed to O’Hare Airport the day the Beatles landed. I saw 2001: A Space Odyssey in Cinerama.

I was stunned when I heard that Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. had been assassinated. I was apalled by the following riots, as was almost everybody else, regardless of who they were. I was stunned by the deaths at Kent State, four dead at the hands of the National Guard during a protest against the Viet Nam War... a war that damaged SO many people and tore this country apart... and I never dissed the troops, just the politicians who sent them there. Just like today. I was in Grant Park in '68 and cried over friends lost in Viet Nam, throughout the war. My Draft Number was ONE number short of getting called up for service...

I was here for the first video game, the first home computer, the birth of the internet, Microsoft, Apple, Genie, AOL, VHS, DVDs, cell phones and Hi-Def. I saw the first Star Wars movie on opening night, third row, center and was as blown away as anyone.

And now, I’m watching the International Space Station being born.

I was here for all of the stuff that’s happened from just past midnight on a dark April 2 in 1952 to now. The changes have been incredible. Some good, some horrible. Some funny, some tragic.

So yeah. I’m an old guy. ;)

And I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I’m still watching and still trying to make some sense out of it.

Maybe, someday, I will, too.

Nostalgic-Lee

Gary Gygax, age 69, it was announced today, has passed away. Arguably, GG along with his former business partner Dave Arneson, literally created the upsurge in fantasy interest among many of the collega-age crowd during my college years and even before that as it was in about 1970 or so that I remember purchasing the White Box set of D&D, not knowing that I needed a copy of the miniature rules titled "Chainmail" to PLAY the (*^#ed thing!

But it wasn't until about 1976, when I met Tom Smith (www.tomsmithonline.com) that I actually started playing RPG's. And working in the industry for a while - both on the retail side at Campus Bike & Toy in Ann Arbor and, later, as Manager of several of the Gamers Paradise stores in the Chicago area. And, indirectly, it was D&D that got Tom taken to his first science fiction convention by me... scary thought, to be honest... a game leads to a friendship, leads to a convention leads to Tom's career...

All because Gary Gygax wanted to put some rules to the child's game of "Let's Pretend."

Say what you want about him, but Gary Gygax was actually a major social influence in the latter part of the 20th century. He made role-playing games and, from them came a spreading interest in fantasy and science fiction and that led to a whole lot of other things... including a number of artist friends of mine making a living doing fantasy figures and artwork for novels that wouldn't even have existed if not for D&D and Gary and Dave.

Not to mention a certain GenCon show that Nanci and I did a few years ago... even though Gary had long since left the company and GenCon...

Last night, March 1, I performed for a family's celebration of their patriarch's 80th birthday.

When I was initially contacted, it was to do either my hypnosis show or, possibly, my close-up show on a "formal" basis, where the guests would sit around a central table and I would perform, using a couple of people from the group to interact with.

Well, the next day, I got a call from the very nice lady who was organizing the event saying that my program "just wasn't quite what she wanted" for her Dad. "He's been an observer all of his life - an avid reader on a wide variety of topics and really not a participant, even though he gets a kick out of watching everyone else participate in literally everything!"

Well, I actually have a program for something like that! I do a lecture/demonstration on Perception, Memory and Persuasion that uses magic to illustrate how everyone perceives things differently using everything from a routine where I cut to the Aces using only one hand, illustrating how someone can overcome the limitation of the lack of sight, or the loss OF a hand by compensating by an increased sense of touch and dexterity to someone not being able to see something obvious (a card stuck in my eyeglasses) due to their being "too close" to the situation!

Well, this was EXACTLY what she was looking for and, when I got there, the reception that I got was nothing short of amazing!

In one segment, I do a demonstration of reading someones "tells," the subtle body language cues that we all give away, to reveal a chosen playing card. In fact, they had me repeat this demonstration not once, not twice, but THREE times, each time, under more difficult circumstances until I did it with what amounted to a card that the volunteer simply thought of as she looked at the deck!

When I told her that I actually persuaded her to select that card, she didn't believe me, until I had her take out my Palm Pilot and turn it on. There, staring at her from the screen, was the name of the card she thought she had merely THOUGHT of! Hidden persuasion at its best, it would seem!

When this was followed by the revelation of a freely-chosen word from a novel, using muscle-reading (the tension and relaxation of the muscles of the body), they were stunned.

It was a night to remember and even the man celebrating his 80th birthday made it a point to seek me out after the demonstration and say, "That was one of the most remarkable things I've seen in all my years. You really made this a wonderful night."

Sometimes, things just go perfectly. This was one of those times.

This year has gotten off to kind of a slow start for me but things finally seem to be picking up a little. This last weekend, I had a show in the morning on Saturday and then headed to Fangoria's Weekend of Horror to drop in to see some friends, have a meeting with a couple of movie studios and generally schmooze with people in the industry.

Well, things went superbly. I had a couple of great meetings with a couple of studios, including a very funny meeting with some of the production people at Troma Studios - those wonderful people who brought us such classics as "The Toxic Avenger, Surf Nazis Must Die" and the classic "Poultrygeist."

But the real delight of the weekend happened when I literally bumped into my friend Monique Dupree, the First Black Scream Queen. She was there with her daughter, Monet, her husband, that classy guy they call "The Saint," and her new, 4 month-old baby boy, who is an amazing child indeed! They are some of the classiest and nicest people I know. Period.

Here's a photo of Monet, on the left, me and Monique, in white, on the right, from the show.

On Feb. 14, I will be performing at Capricon XXVIII, the Chicago science fiction convention. The convention, one of the major science fiction events in the Chicagoland area, will be held at the following location:

Sheraton Chicago Northwest
3400 W. Euclid Ave
Arlington Heights, IL 60005

From 4:30PM to 6:30PM, Thursday Feb 14th, I'll be holding forth in the Mid-Winter Faire in the Paramount Room doing Close Up Magic, Mind Reading and maybe a few larger effects as well!

I'll be performing my HYPNOSIS SHOW in the Lake Superior Room at 9PM Thursday evening, Feb. 14th.

So, for those of you who have never seen me perform before - here's your chance! And for my fans - come on down and say HI, clap, cheer and enjoy as well!

Some folks have WAY too much time on their hands - these people did a recreation of the Battle of Minas Tirith from The Lord of the Rings in CANDY!

Their commentary on the page listed in the link is pretty good, too.

http://missedmanners.wordpress.com/2008/01/03/battle-of-pelennor-fields/

It also inspired me to a rare bit of poetry (if you can call it that!)


The Candied Battle
Lee Darrow
January 11, 2008

In Pelennor's fields
did marzipan men
fight with candy canes
toothpicks and whips.

Gummi-Bear orcs crossed
sweet-frosted tables
their bright candy-asses to kick!

The riders of Rohan,
on saccharyne steeds
did slaughter them
on that dark chocolate day

And old Minas Tirith
though sore plagued with rot
sank its remaining teeth
into their flanks.

And one of the Nine,
winged steed dead and lame,
bought the farm from
a marzipan maid.

Though victory is sweet
and the field cherry red
with the blood of the
Gummi-Bear foe,

If you ate the whole
candied battle and all
the cavities would go
right through to your toe!

Lee Darrow

First off:

Happy Holidays to ALL of my friends, colleagues, clients, family and readers!

Your support over the years has been, in good portion, what's kept me going, kept me inspired and kept me focused. I am humbled and honored to have you all in my life.

Now, on to the odd stuff... several years ago, a friend of mine made a bet with me - he bet me that I could not pass the Illinois life insurance agent's exam on the first try. Now, when you consider that the exam, at that time, consisted of about 300 questions and covered everything from matters of law to types of insurance to figuring coverage costs, it was a pretty daunting challenge.

When you add into the mix the fact that I suffer from called dyscalculia, which is a type of dyslexia that applies to numbers and mathematics in general and the challenge becomes even greater.

Well, with the help of my friend Wendi Freisen, a world famous hypnotherapist and her CD on memory improvement for students, I managed to pass the test... in 38 minutes... this was, according to the head of th testing center, "an unofficial Illinois record."

I was happy.

Well, yesterday, the 21st, I took my friend up on his follow-up challenge - to pass the Illinois State accident & health insurance agent's license exam on the first try. The exam is another monster - 65 questions about everything from health, accident, Medicare, Medicaid, disability, Workman's compensation and supplementary insurances plus another 50 questions or so about Illinois state-specific laws regarding all of the above!

There was more math than on the life insurance exam, too.

However, the really big problem with taking this exam was that I went in to it with a massive, comprehensive, skull-crushing migraine headache!

And it was a bad one. A sinus headache on top of a regular migraine, to boot. My regular medications didn't even dent it. Tylenol-3... the stuff with codeine in it ... didn't dent it... and it was running into the ranges where it was threatening consciousness (which has happened only once in my life, I hasten to add!)...

Fortunately, I managed to suffer through the exam until about half-way through the second part - the Illinois law portion, when, outside the testing center, a dozen kids started a drum line using those big plastic buckets for drums!

Even though we were on the 4th floor of the office building, it sounded like they were right outside the window!

I guess the center has had this happen before, though, because sitting right there on my desk, in a neat little sealed plastic package, was a pair of green foam rubber earplugs! But even with them in my aching ears, I could STILL hear these kids slamming away on their buckets, but not quite as loudly...

The exam was timed, of course. The time allotted was about 140 minutes. This time, I finished with only about 27 minutes remaining on the clock and staggered out to the proctor's desk for the bad news.... and saw that it was the same lady who had graded my first exam there, back when!

She clicked her mouse, and, as I was gathering my stuff out of the locker (they make you empty your pockets, leave your cell phone, pager, wristwatch, everything but one piece of photo ID), she said:

"Congratulations. You passed."

My head still hurt - this was not a stress migraine - but I have to admit that I was pretty happy about the results. Not to mention being more than a bit surprised.

And again, my friend lost his bet.

I really should have put some money on this bet, instead of it merely being a gentleman's wager...!

Happy Holidays everybody.

Yesterday was a busy day for me. THREE shows in less than 18 hours...

It started out with my leaving the house at about 8:30AM and driving 90 minutes to South Bend, Indiana to perform my Holiday Hypnosis Show for a real estate management and sales company for their holiday party. The drive was fine, the audience was wonderful, the venue was quite nice, but the sound system almost blew up!

All during the part where I hypnotize the volunteers, the sound system kept emitting these incredibly loud and random POPs and CRACKLEs and BANGs!, even after I had turned the microphone and my computer (where I keep the shows music) off!

Fortunately, I have a good speaking voice for large groups and the show went very well, although in a slightly different direction that I had originally planned.... the client, however, was absolutely delighted and that's what counts!

Then, it was off to the North Side of Chicago for another company party for two regional offices of AFLAC Insurance (yes, the duck advertisement people). Unlike the first show, this one was my Strolling Magic Program, working the crowd, doing coins, cards, rubber bands and my trademarked magical mania. These folks are a great group, too!

Finally, it was off to the United Center for a 90 minute set doing Magic and Mind-reading for the crowds for the Chicago Bulls vs the Knicks game. This is my fourteenth year of working for the Bulls organization, through their event planning contractors and I am deeply appreciative and honored to be a part of these shows.

So, if you ever attend a Bulls game and see me performing in the halls as part of the paid entertainment, please stop by and introduce yourself and mention that you saw this page!

Yesterday was a busy day for me. THREE shows in less than 18 hours... and I loved every minute of it!

Happy Holidays!

Regardless of what some may feel about the war and the politicians who have sent our troops into harm's way, I DO support our troops 100% and have, over the years even gone, uninvited and unpaid in to USO centers at places like O'Hare Airport on Christmas Eve and even Christmas Day to perform magic for the troops who are traveling through there.

I recently received the following from an email list that I belong to and felt that it was a fitting and powerful tribute to the men and women who have voluntarily put themselves between us and "the war's devastation," as the song goes. I offer it as I received it, unedited, except that I have placed it in italics, fo you know that it is a quotation....

Please remember those who serve, both here and overseas during this holiday season - and always!

The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.
Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight.
The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.
My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.
The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,
But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.
Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know, Then the
sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.
My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near.
Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.
A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.
"What are you doing?" I asked without fear,
"Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"
For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts..
To the window that danced with a warm fire's light
Then he sighed and he said "Its really all right,
I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night."
"It's my duty to stand at the front of the line,
That separates you from the darkest of times.
No one had to ask or beg or implore me,
I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.
My Gramps died at ' Pearl on a day in December,"
Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers."
My dad stood his watch in the jungles of ' Nam ',
And now it is my turn and so, here I am.
I've not seen my own son in more than a while,
But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile.
Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
The red, white, and blue... an American flag.
I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home.
I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.
I can carry the weight of killing another,
Or lay down my life with my sister and brother..
Who stand at the front against any and all,
To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall."
"So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright,
Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."
"But isn't there something I can do, at the least,
"Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast?
It seems all too little for all that you've done,
For being away from your wife and your son."
Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,
"Just tell us you love us, and never forget.
To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.
For when we come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember we fought and we bled.
Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us."


PLEASE, would you do me the kind favor of sending this to as many people
as you can? Christmas will be coming soon and some credit is due to our
U.S. service men and women for our being able to celebrate these
festivities. Let's try in this small way to pay a tiny bit of what we
owe. Make people stop and think of our heroes, living and dead, who
sacrificed themselves for us.

LCDR Jeff Giles, SC, USN
30th Naval Construction Regiment
OIC, Logistics Cell One
Al Taqqadum , Iraq .


Bless them all.

Lee Darrow, C.H.
Proud son of one of America's first Airborne Rangers, Bruce Darrow, late of the 517th ABN/RCT, 1941-1945 served.

Tomorrow is a 2 show day. I like 2-show days because they really force me to push myself a bit, especially when I am doing 2 different shows: one being my trade show-style magic show for the review committee of a major Chamber of Commerce and the other being my mentalism and hypnosis combination show (the one for smaller audiences, not the BIG show) later in the evening, for a dental practice group.

Comparatively, this is like performing comedy in the afternoon and then doing Ibsen in the evening - it's quite a stretch, from a performer's standpoint, as one has to change points of perspective on literally everything that's done in the second show by about 160 degrees or so.

I really enjoy doing days like this. They make me really stretch myself as a performer and as an entertainer... not to mention that I get to do a much wider variety of material in performance than I would if I were doing the same, or similar, shows on the same day!

So, for more information on how to book me - whether as a stage hypnotist, magician (close up or stage), a mentalist (think NBC's Phenomenon but without some of the glitz and motorcycles!) or in combinations of these styles of performance art, call me at 773-768-0500!

I have had it with AT&T!

When we moved early this year, AT&T told me that I would have to pay long distance forwarding charges if I wanted to keep the business phone number that I have been using for the past eleven years or so.

Please understand that we moved less than fifteen miles and stayed in the same area code that we had been, originally! Not only that, but I would have to pay those charges whether or not I answered the phone because, according to AT&T, forwarding a call is the same thing as answering that call!

So much for the Line Portability charges that I had been paying for all those years! Those charges are supposed to allow a business subscriber to take their number WITH them when they move to avoid just this sort of problem!

So I had to change my phone number for my business. That's eleven years worth of business cards that suddenly became out of date - eleven years of business cards that will not work to contact me to book shows, lectures of consulting sessions and eleven years of referrals who have my number written down for an event that might not happen for another year or two that will no longer be able to reach me on that line.

Add to it the fact that the message that lets someone know that they have reached a number that has been changed starts out with the same three tones that a disconnected number message starts with and then is followed with the following message:

"The number you have reached, xxx-xxx-xxxx is no longer in service. The NEW number is... According to a number of industry polls, over 80% of the people who hear those tones and hear the part about the number no longer being in service HANG UP without ever listening for the rest of the message!

AT&T, in its infinite wisdom (note liberal use of sarcasm!), refuses to listen to the demands of its subscribers, who have been requesting that that message, and the tones that precede it, be changed to something different, so the people who change their numbers won't lose so much business when they are FORCED to change their numbers!

To top it all off, even though I had made the cutoff date by better than three weeks according to the rep who worked with me in changing the number in the first place, AT&T then procewded to publish my OLD PHONE NUMBER in the Yellow Pages!

They "accommodated" me by giving me six months of free call change messages on the old phone number... for all the good that has done...

Then, in June, my voice mail went down. Like many individual businessmen, I rely on voice mail to insure that I get as many business calls as possible when I am out of the office or on the line with another client.

This took them almost a WEEK to fix.

Then, in August, it happened again. And again, it took several DAYS to fix, even though it was nothing more than a "switching error" on their part. Odd how a switch can get thrown on a virtual system without someone getting in there and reprogramming the hardware!

Well, today, it happened AGAIN!

I called my voice mail at about 11:30AM central time. And the phone at the office just rng and rang and rang. I tested it several times over the next twenty minutes and called AT&T to find out what in Sam Hill was going on.

I got routed to Billing. They had No Clue and routed me to Voice Mail Help Desk Administration. Here's the message I got. "You have reached AT&T's Voice Mail Help Desk Services. We are not taking any calls at this time. Please call back at a later time." and it disconnected me. THREE TIMES.

Then I got routed to Repair. They routed me back to the Help Desk people, with much the same result.

I called back and spoke to someone in Repair, explained what had happened today, what had happened over the course of the year and explained WHY Voice Mail is such a mission-critical service to a small business. In detail. Politely.

I also explained the concept of system redundancy to the service agent/supervisor who had never heard of such a thing!

Needless to say, as soon as I finish a little bit of research, I will be leaving AT&T for good.

I urge you, the reader, to do the same.

Once again, I have to play the licensing game. This time, it's for the Illinois Health Insurance Agent's license, which I need for my "other" job doing insurance.

As a broker with a life insurance license, I get to do such fun things as Life Insurance products, including term life, whole life, universal life as well as fixed annuities (now there's a headache waiting to happen if you don't like crunching numbers or figuring out things like future cash-flows for people!)...

But now, because I am a broker, which means that I can represent a number of different companies, I have to get my Life and Accident license because, in Illinois, unlike several other, more intelligent states, these licenses are separate and issued as such. It's even more fun when you have to prove that you have taken a certain number of hours of coursework before you are allowed to take the exam... which you do by taking a pre-exam test which, if you don't pass it, you don't get the hours. If you don't get the hours, you don't get the license... and if I don't get the license, I will be severely limited as to what I can write (as in make money doing) for my new company - AFLAC.

Don't get me wrong - I LOVE working for the Duck! They actually pay the person who is being insured, instead of the doctors and hospitals - it's supplimental insurance and it covers loss of income for an injury or illness in most cases.

But, the educational system in Illinois is ALL run on PC's!

Those of you who know me know that I left the PC universe almost two-thirds of a decade ago and will not go back if at all possible. I am heartily sick of the constant crashes, the continuous updates (sometimes twice daily!) to the anti-malware protections that one MUST have and am sick of Microsoft dictating what I absolutely have to have on a daily basis as far as Service Packs, Updates and even Operating systems (the newest of which, Vista, is so costly to upgrade to that I won't comment further except to say that if you have a legacy video card, printer, scanner, video-capture bridge or, in some cases even a MIDI, you are S.O.L. and will have to BUY all NEW ones that are Vista compliant.... IMHO submissive is probably a better word...).

SO, I have a real problem on my hands... I can either take up valuable time in the office working on the exam, working on a borrowed system (which will NOT endear me to my co-workers), find a friend who will let me take three or four days to use THEIR system (not likely - that a lot of time), or I can try to do this on the paper-based system that the State has in place for people like me (who are now about 15% of the insurance professionals out there according to the last industry census.

Needless to say, I am NOT happy about this. It's a (*^# exam! One would think that they could create platform-independent, web-based learning and pre-exam programs for this kind of thing.

Having worked for a software developer, I know that it's possible.

And, to make it worse, the exam education system is handled by independent contractors, none of whom that I have found have anything in place that will help.

Grumble, grumble, grumble...

Why is it that magicians think they can walk on stage and just "wing it?" As in - drag their box of material on stage and perform whatever comes to mind AS they are performing?

Do musicians do that?

No. (not the pros anyway)

Do actors do that?

No. Imagine trying to perform The 12th Night without having memorized your part... or Romeo & Juliet... or Uncle Vanya... or Cat on a Hot Tin Roof - or even Cats! Good luck, and don't let the stage door hit you in the backside as the Director drop-kicks you out of the theater!

Do stand-up comedians do that?

No (even though it looks like that, sometimes, the pros work from a carefully crafted script)!

Even improv comics work from within a FRAMEWORK (we do the "hats" improv, first, then go to "box of props" - and everybody knows what's in there, right?" then to "scenes from a movie", etc.), so, while the individual pieces have an ELEMENT of improvisation in them, the ROUTINES are pretty well worked out in advance.

But magicians, for some reason, seem to think that they can walk on stage and do a superb show while working completely impromptu!

To be blunt, that qualifies as stupidity incarnate to any real professional entertainer in ANY field.

Yes, you have to be able to "riff" with an audience occasionally, but that should not - and MUST NOT, distract from the actual script of your show. If it does, then you need to work more ON your show and your script!

Heck, even stage hypnotists work from a script, even though they often have to vary their programs to fit the responses of the volunteers!

But magicians are "too good" for that... or "too talented" for that... but when you come down to it, they are often just plain gullible - they BOUGHT the LINE that "anyone can be a Master Magician with NO rehearsal!"

And that line - "needs no practice" - is the WORST scam ever perpetrated on the profession.

Because it takes magic from being a PROFESSION and demeans it into being a collection of self-working "stuff" that anybody, regardless of their abilities, can entertain with.

And THAT line has created more BAD magicians and more BAD "entertainers" than anything else in the history of magic.

So let's not worry so much about peopel who expose magic secrets (which is bad enough, I admit), but worry about the scam artists who market magic as something that does not take any skill, talent or preparation to perform!

Because THEY, not the exposers, have done more harm to magic than anyone else in the history of our Art, combined.

Place: Vida Lounge, located at 1248 W. George St. in Chicago, Illinois. (That's just north of Diversey on Lincoln for those of you not familiar with the area)

Date: August 29th, 2007

Time: 8PM to 11PM

What: A talent showcase for event planners, club owners, hotel programming managers, talent agents and anyone else interested in using great talent for their upcoming events!

I (Lee Darrow), will be performing both standup material (possibly some short parts of my stage hypnosis act) AND strolling magic as well as doing some sit-down magic and mentalism during the evening along with about 20 other artists, musicians, poets and performance artists.

Price: $10 (we have to pay for the space after all)

The bar will be there serving drinks and I understand that there may even be some food as well...!

So contact me directly for tickets because you will not get in without one!

Come see why magic is on the upswing in Chicago and just how hypnotic your evening can be!